What to Do When Your Pet Dies

If your pet has died at home and you are reading this in the first hour, there is almost nothing that has to be done immediately. Nothing is being made worse by you sitting with them for a while, and most people are glad afterwards that they did.

When you are ready: a body can safely stay at home for a few hours, longer in a cool room. Lay them on a towel or blanket in the coolest room in the house, out of direct sun, because that is the practical part that matters. Fluid release is normal and is not a sign that anything went wrong; a towel underneath handles it.

If other animals in the house want to come and look, let them. There is reasonable evidence that animals who see the body settle faster than ones who simply find their companion gone, and there is no evidence it distresses them.

Then call your veterinary practice, even out of hours. They will tell you what they can take and when, and this is the call that starts everything else.

Expect to be asked, quite quickly, what you want done with the body. The options are communal cremation, private cremation with the ashes returned, home burial where it is legal, or a pet cemetery. If you have not thought about it, say so and ask them to hold your pet for a day or two — every practice can do this and almost nobody knows to ask.

Ask for prices in writing before agreeing to anything, including the extras that come up in these conversations: urns, paw prints, a clipping of fur. Some people want all of them and some find them unbearable, and either answer is fine.

This is also the moment to ask whether they will make a paw print, if that is something you want. It has to be done soon, and it cannot be done later.

Over the following days, a series of small administrative shocks arrive, and each one hurts more than its size suggests. Getting them out of the way in one sitting is kinder than meeting them one at a time over six weeks.

Update the microchip registry, so nobody calls you about a found animal. Cancel pet insurance — and check the policy first, because many cover cremation costs and some pay a bereavement benefit. Cancel the food subscription and any repeat prescription. Tell the practice to remove reminders, or a vaccination text will arrive in three months. Tell the groomer, the walker, the boarding kennel and the sitter, because a cheerful confirmation message for an appointment you forgot to cancel is a genuinely bad way to be reminded.

If you have children, tell their school if the loss was significant to them. Teachers notice a change in a child and often do not know the cause.

There is no right speed for clearing away the bowls, the bed, the toys. Doing it immediately is not callous and leaving it for months is not unhealthy. What people most often regret is having somebody else do it for them while they were out, so if anyone offers, ask them to wait.

Keep something. Not everything, but something: the collar, one toy, a tuft of fur in an envelope. People who threw everything away in the first week describe missing it later far more often than the reverse.

Other animals in the house may go off their food, look for their companion, or become clingy for a week or two. Keep their routine steady, give them more attention than usual, and mention it to your vet if it lasts beyond a few weeks.